We have a great sex life. But sometimes I guess it seems repetitive. Me pleasing him. His needs before mine. We also have an 18 month old which takes up a good part of my evenings. I鈥檓 too tired when it comes to bedtime. And if I got more help from Daddy, maybe I鈥檇 be less tired physically and emotionally.
I want to forget about this other guy. But it鈥檚 been hard. He puts a smile on my face, he鈥檚 fresh and new and makes me laugh just about every day. But I know that just thinking about him is wrong.Men: Need help with communicating with my husband?
He can not be who you want him to be. You have to accept who is he and work from there.
Find something that you both are interested in and have fun with it. Make it a habit.
Sure this other guy might be making your heart flutter but trust me - as you've noticed with the husband - things change into comfort and normal. You are obviously just bored with the stability and norm of your relationship so, spice it up.
You both need to redicover yourselves...So, go out Saturday and do something spontaneous...tell him how you feel about his lazy habits of not pleasing you....
Just do not give in to a cheap thrill...In the end, that is all it is and your husband was really (more than likely) your knight in shining armor.Men: Need help with communicating with my husband?
You talk too much and over analyze everything!!! Just give him some head and be quiet for awhile!!!
Every woman on this forum has or will ask that same question. It’s the way things are until the guy comes around. I figured it out in my 20's. Some guys figure it out on their death bed. And it is being like an alcoholic. They have to do it on their own. No one can do it for them or make them understand.
Saturday night huh? My wife and I had one of those Saturday nights right after I got home from a deployment. We ended up getting into a rip roaring fight. We are still together 2 years later.
It all depends on your husband, is he hard headed? Does he work all day and come home to a full house? I would say you need to open the lines of communication, or at least one of you does. It takes time to get to that point. He does not know what you go through on a daily basis, I bet.
As for the sex, talk to each other ask him what he fantasizes about these days. Tell him what you fantasize and leave mystery guy out of it. Tell him how you feel. Really if he doesn't know there is anything wrong he won't act like there is anything wrong...
When I say tell him, I mean be direct. A friend of mine said once that women like to talk in long bombs to guys. She continued to say as an example, A woman might be cold while sitting in a room that also has a guy in there. She will say I am cold. The man hears this as, She is cold. That was a long bomb. Second she'll try a pitch, Are you cold? - not as abstract as the long bomb but not quite to the point either. Then after much frustration she will say, Would you please turn up the heat? This is the hand off. It is direct, to the point, and is in our hands. We understand the Hand-off, because it is exactly what you want, not an abstract version having us guess what you mean for us to do. Watch what you say and see if you are doing hand offs or Long bombs. I seriously think it will improve how he communicates with you.
I don't know what to tell you, except you have to sit and talk to him, tell him how you feel. I know that there is the lack of communication, but if maybe you can get through to him about it, he'll understand and listen more. I'm going through the same thing, and repetitively, he still don't listen to me, it's just always about how he feels and how I need to change this or that. So, I'm in the same boat honey, I just keep trying and trying, cuz I'm not ready to give up yet.
I hope it works for you (at least better than for me) and I hope you two get together Sat. and reignite that spark that's disappeared.
Here,s another one that I am going to be yelled at for my answer.
What the hell do you expect of life. You are not a foot loose and fancy free teenager anymore. You are a married woman with a child. That is your world now. Your life is now bound up in looking after your child and husband. His life is to go to work and provide for you and the baby. No it is not as Hollywood portrays things but this is real life. OK so some days you get a little bored and feeling hemmed in, so does your husband, so do we all. But this is life and this is how things are. You can make your life interesting by doing something in the community for instance. I can tell you now bed hopping is not going to help, it sure as shooting will make thing worst at best and intolerable at the end. You know being a good wife and mother sure looks good on your C.V of life, and being a good husband is nothing to be ashamed of.
GEE!!, I am so sorry. I obviously gave you the wrong answer.
How about this one.
Why don’t you take this guy home and do the business, don’t even waste time or money going to a motel. Use your matrimonial bed. That should spice things up for you. Why don’t you have the guy over for dinner and then take him to the bedroom while your husband is having a bit of after-dinner shuteye. After all you say your husband knows all about this guy, So what is the problem? If those couple of suggestions don’t liven things up for you I don’t know what will.
Then when you have done all this, do the right thing by us that have tried to help you, and let us know how things are in your life.
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