Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Should I try to get back with my ex, it's so confusing I need an unbiased response. We still live together.?

I’ll start with facts from the beginning of our relationship. My good friend introduced us together stating we would be perfect for each other. He was also told of how amazing we are together from the time we met. My friend has known my ex for 8 years and are also best friends. So my ex asked me to move with him to South Beach FL. But states he wants me to move there for me, and not him. He also stated how much he is not ready for a girlfriend and how he doesn’t want one. So after knowing each other for a month we move to FL and know only each other. We are there for 3 days and he tells me how scared he is about how strong his feelings are. He shares how in love he is with me, and that he has never felt this way about any other person. I wait a moment and wile waiting he says, “Thanks for not saying I love you just because I told you” I then say I was just taking this all in. We lived in a van together for a month, and then decided to get an apartment. There we lived for 5 months. In that time we had no arguments, amazing communication, freedom, respect, thoughtfulness, and everything else that is needed to have a good and loving relationship. We decided to leave South Beach, like planed from the beginning, to go back home. I had plans to travel to Europe, but didn’t due to passport and time issues. He went to Alaska to work on a fishing boat, like he has done for the past 7 seasons. While he was there I lived at his parents house. Which was a very pleasant situation. No problems at all. I wrote him many times, in the 4 months he was gone, he and his friends mentioned how awesome I am, for writing and most girlfriends don’t write their men. It is very hard to communicate to the men in Alaska because they are out on the boat fishing a lot.





Well he comes back early because he misses me, as I also miss him. We hang out for 2 weeks before I go back to South Beach. He plans on returning about a month after I’m there, but he misses me so much he decided to go down there early. Of which I’m very happy about, but didn’t ask him to do. So, we are living there together a month and a half, and I notice that he is more shout tempered with me, and a little rude at times. Totally out of character of him. So we talk about it. I ask, “Do you want to be with me.” He says, “Yes of course, I love you, you are amazing, I couldn’t ask for a better girlfriend.” I say in response, “if you decide that you don’t want to be with me, let me know right when you do because I don’t want to be lead around.” It may sound odd that was my response, but I know him very well. So a week later, we are discussing my clothes, and how he doesn’t like most of my clothes, and I need to dress to my body’s shape. Instead of stating his opinion, he is being mean about it. He goes to bed, so I follow him shortly after to talk about what just happened. We start talking, cuddling, then he says; “I need to get something off my chest, I don’t find you attractive any more.’ WTF I’m in shape, I’m beautiful…He then states he was just being mean. But before that he shares he doesn’t want to date me any more, he’s not in love with me and never has been, but loves me. He doesn’t seem to remember all the times he has said he’s in love with me.





We need to live together, because of lack of money at both ends. We have decided for me to move out when finances are better, which will be in a month or two at the most. We still have sex and still sleep in the same bed. Still say I love you to each other. Still do caring things for each other. I have not flirted with anyone since the break up happened. I have gone back home for my grandma’s funeral. I have my ex the number to call me on. He didn’t call me for 2 days, so I decided to call him the evening of the second. He said he was trying to get a hold of me, calling my family members, which was true. He said he missed me so much, and wished I’d called him sooner. I told him I didn’t call because I wanted to give him space; he broke up with me after all. He said he missed me and still wants to talk to me, wants to hold me, wants to kiss me, and wants to be around me.





We talk the next day, he, “says we need to talk when I get back. He still wants me to move out so we both can be more independent, and have our own space, but he thinks he wants to date me again.” I’ve been gone 9 days so far. Last night we talked about a text message he read from me to a girlfriend. Basically it stated I’m afraid he may have sex wile I’m gone, she said don’t be sill. I have insecurities like every one. But I know one big thing with me and my ex is, I don’t have enough confidence as I should, and that is what he finds most attractive.





He is even more confused then me. I’m taking everything he says as a grain of salt. Sorry so long, but I need help, desperately.





~Oh so confused with my love lifeShould I try to get back with my ex, it's so confusing I need an unbiased response. We still live together.?
What are you doing still having sex with him? You could make living together work, but no more acting like you're a couple, you're killing your self-esteem whether your realize it or not.Should I try to get back with my ex, it's so confusing I need an unbiased response. We still live together.?
It actually depends on you.





Whether you want to take it or leave it.





The longer you drag on this matter, the more it hurts.





Chinese proverbs: Shorter hurt better than longer hurts.
thats pretty gay you should date someone else and move on
It is not you who should be afraid, but him that should fear you leaving him. Golly, that guy is an emotional basket case.

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