I am a muslim by nature and as you all must already know, i can't date. I am 21 now and i think i am ready for marriage and to look around for muslim men here in the U.S. I chose to communicate with muslim men through an online matrominial site for muslim singles because i don't live in an area with alot of muslims and the ones who are in my area are not the kinds i would like to spend the rest of my life with.
SO i met this gentleman online who is also a muslim. He is 24 years old. Pious, religious, respectful, and so on. Pretty much everything that i wanted in a guy. We have been talking for the past 1 month. Now, i belong to a very traditional and cultural family and i was raised with the idea that men are the ones to approach women because it does not look appropriate for the women to go up to a guy and make the first move/talk/propose/ or whatever you would like to call it. Therefore, i just find it really hard to be the first one to approach.
Anyway, so this guy added me in to his MSN messenger so that we could speak over the internet for some time before moving to phone calls. He messaged me the first week a couple of times and was the one to initiate conversations everytime i would come online. As i said before, i have been raised with the idea that a woman should not be the one to approach first and let her guy approach her first. So i would just wait for him to message me so that we can begin to talk. He did make an effort of messaging me first for about 6 or 7 times but then he stopped messaging me. I wondered for 3 or 4 days but then decided to message him first the next time he would come online. That is when some how he told me that he felt as if he was the one to always innitiate a chat session and i wasn't putting in any effort. He felt as if i am not interested in talking to him because i would never be the one to start a convo. I apologized and told him that i deal with huge ego issues when its about approaching a guy. But i'll be careful from now on. He said he has a huge ego as well and that is why he didn't want to message me first all the time in a row. So we spoke that day and everything went well. Next day he messaged me so i was glad i did not have to put in the effort of messaging him first because apparently it would look desperate for me to innitiate a chat session. The following day i messaged him thinking since he was the one to start yesterday so let me be the one to start today. Everything went well that day. However, he never messaged me after that day. It has been 4 days again and neither have i messaged him nor did he. I feel as if i would make myself look desperate if i message him first. Him being the guy should put in the effort and i will be more than happy to greet him with a very welcoming behavior so that he would know i am interested in talking to him...
Ok so what exactly am i doing wrong? What should i do in sucha situation? We have not spoken for the past 4 days in spite of the fact that we get along really well when we talk.So i have been talking to this Muslim guy for the past month (Kind of long but please take the time to read)?
Listen chick, you're in America now, you don't have to put up with those antiquated rituals.
Why bother coning to America if you are not going to live as an American.
Meet guys, make friends, date , maybe even get laid.
Live your life , establish a career and if you meet a guy you choose to be your husband ,get married.
To leave your fate , your future to the internet and some bizarre old fashioned ritual is plain crazy.
Remember, those women that were murdered ,met that ';nice man'; on Craig's list.So i have been talking to this Muslim guy for the past month (Kind of long but please take the time to read)?
get over youself.it looks desperate to who? is your ego that large that you cannot start any conversation,or if you initiate a conversation does that mean you automatically mean to marry that person?
marry in haste,repent at leisure!
you will meet the right man,just have patience
I can understand.
It's hard for me to approach men as well. I came to this conclusion, if I don't let them know I'm interested I'm going to miss out.
Suck up what may look like desperation and realize your end goal, finding Mr. Right. If you like him, tell him. If you want to message him, message him.
He will never know if you don't tell him. Most men can appreciate a woman being direct. The ';dating'; games can get old.
Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem,
Hang in there! Be patient and dont worry.
Mr right is understanding. Mr right now is in a hurry. You can wait for mr right. Dont expect others to chose what you have chosen and dont chose based upon other peoples expectations
Like the other poster said....you need more than one hook in the water....you need to respect your faith, but keep more than one guy on the hook....you arent looking for a study buddy, you are looking for a husband.....if he doesnt have the time to talk to you, then he shouldnt mind if you go find a man who has the time and the inclination.....
You may only fel comfortable talking to one guy at a time, bu until any of them commit solely to you, you are still seekign a compatible mate.
If a guy expect you to talk only to him, he had better have time to talk to you cuz you are eager to go on with your life.
You have waited plenty and have been super patient (May you be rewarded in this life and the next by the Sustainer of all the worlds, the Knower, the Giver, the Redeemer, the Most beneficient, %26amp; the Most Merciful).
I met my wife through Muslim matrimony web site, but she wasnt the only woman I spoke to.....And I wasnt the only guy she spoke to.
Compatibility is of course important, thus the first guy is not likely to be mr right, just mr right now......
I have faith that you will succeed in finding what you seek ...
No matter your religion is, If a man really want to call u, then he will....trust me,it's in their blood. In the meanwhile be open to other opportunities....
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