Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Are the differences between how men and women communicate really a biological thing?

If I'm generalizing too much then just ignore the question, but for the most part men communicate directly and women don't. Women expect you to guess what they feel, need, want, etc.. without saying it.





Now, this is supposed to me because of brain differences, but is it really? How hard is it to just SAY what you want?





Like if a woman is with her Bf or husband and she sees a necklace she wants, she will not say: ';honey, I want you to buy me that necklace';... she will think that in her head but instead she will say: ';I really like that necklace';.





So ladies, especially feminists, why not just be direct? And if you choose to be indirect, why do you get angry at the man if he doesn't ';read your mind';?





Why don't women say what they feel and what they want instead of just expecting people to know? What is the advantege to indirect communication?Are the differences between how men and women communicate really a biological thing?
It's evolutionarily advantageous that women tend to feel emotions at a greater intensity. Since history has them providing much of the direct care to infants, their perhaps better connection to emotional states is what keeps our species alive. Of course, some men are very able to connect and respond to emotional states, and some women aren't. I'm generalizing in spite of many obvious exceptions.





The advantage to indirect communication, in terms of your example:





If a woman tells you to buy her a necklace and you do so, you're merely complying with her demand. Women don't just want a man who will comply with their demands. They want a man who evidently cares so much about them that he notices what she likes and goes beyond simple, direct requests to please her.





It's also evolutionarily advantageous for women to seek men who respond to their emotional cues. Why? Because it is evidence to her that he cares enough about her to stick around when she pops out kids. That improves her and her child's probability of survival.Are the differences between how men and women communicate really a biological thing?
No it's not biological, it is socialized into both genders. Men are ';listened to'; and women are ';listeners';. Men get ';important jobs'; and women are brought up to ';raise children at home'; even if that's after she goes to school. How many stay at home dads do you know? Is that because they are incapable or because that's what is the norm and what is taught?





It can take some work, but it's advantageous to spring out of those boxes people try to put you into. Speaking from personal experience. If you don't listen to the ';men are from venus and women are from mars'; crap, it really starts to make sense.
I truly believe women are more strategic in their use of linguistics than us men.


If we see a 150K sports car we can't afford we still say we want it.


If a woman seeks an expensive item and is direct about it, we will inherently start a money fight with them. (admit it!). if they say they like it, than it's theirs for x-mass if we have the cash.


They are pretty smart creatures them women.
';Are the differences between how men and women communicate really a biological thing?';





There is not a whit of empirical evidence to support this idea.





';men communicate directly and women don't';





Again, there is not a whit of empirical evidence to support this idea. Problems often occur because men don't communicate AT ALL, periodfullstop. I think they have never learned how to communicate. Many fall silent and brood. Then they yell. Then they clam up again. Some wait until they're completely stressed, go absolutely bonkers, and shoot up a shopping mall or college campus. Perhaps a murder-suicide with the wife. What the hell, go for the gusto: murder the whole family and go out in a gunblaze of bloody glory the moment the SWAT team breaks down your front door.





Oh, yes. Some men can be really great communicators, that's for sure...
It's been my experience that women communicate more with emotion as the base of the communication. For me, it makes it difficult to get through that emotion and get to the point of the message.
no, I will not ignore you. it is a fair question.


there are many factors involved between the sexes.


part is indeed biology.


part is society.


age is a factor.


background in the family is a factor.


and on and on and on.





the best anyone can hope for, and work for, is constructive communication. far too often it becomes destructive.





good luck


best wishes

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