Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Can Men & Women actually communicate with each other?

I've recently found out that there are some huge differences between the way Men communicate, and the way Women communicate. We basically can't understand anything the other gender says, except for the surface stuff.





Women think in terms of ';how it feels like';, chemistry, clicking... or so I've heard. Men instead try to find a recipe for chemistry. If it works once, there should a way to make it work again, right?





My question is: can we actually find a common language so we can understand what the opposite sex is saying, without interpreting it through the lens of our gender-specific glasses?





Cause I'm amazed at how many guides to men there are for women, and they're all plain wrong. They only see the surface of things. And I'm sure that the guides for men are exactly the same, and girls know this better than I do.Can Men %26amp; Women actually communicate with each other?
Communication has troubled many people before us. In the case of Eugen Ionescu and avant garde theater, particularly theater of the absurd, communication seems to have been misplaced. Although Ionescu portrays lack of communication on a grander scale in his plays, the principles are the same when it comes to men and women.





Logic is a big reason why men and women have communication problems, just like in Rhinoceros, where logic is absent from the very beginning of the play. None of the people who turn into the green animal symbolizing the Nazis at the time (or any mass hysteria), say why they do so, they just say they feel they have to. Feelings, good or bad, are not always logical.





The problem with communicating - whether the discourse is between a black person and a white one or a man and a woman is prejudice and stereotype. If the two parties are open and actually listen to one another without letting their feelings or the feelings of a specific group take over their reasoning, communication is not only possible, but it is attainable.





Fraud (I meant Freud - that was a slip) had many believe that woman is ';the dark continent'; (le continet noir). Instead of looking at what he did know about women as human beings, he focused his entire theory on what he did not, in other words, the negative. The truth is his knowledge of females was limited, indeed very limited, as he approached them like objects, and not subjects. As a result, people such as De Beauvoir and Jaques Lacan spend years proving that women are not only human, but quite easily understood if one were to listen. Most gender psychology, from De Beauvoir on concentrated on conditioning, and no so much the birth differences. As society has taught women to ';sit pretty'; and prince charming will arrive, and men to ';be men';, and not display their emotions like ';little girls';, it is no wonder that we are so confused.





So, what I learned from all this is that if I want to know anything about a man or woman or a certain nationality, I go directly to the source and ask. Then, I listen and process what I hear. Regurgitation is easy - birds do it; reflection requires a little effort, which I, for one, am willing to make.Can Men %26amp; Women actually communicate with each other?
yeah, when women make comments about somthing they hate but secretly want, that i think is stupid. why not say what u really mean?


i always say communication is key!
WE CANT COMMUNICATE...HAVENT U HEARD MEN ARE FROM MARS AND WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS...
Yes, we just have to look at each other as human beings, not male or female. Basically we all walk around with the same insecurities and flaws. The whole concept of a man should be and do this and a woman should be and do that is ridiculous to me.
andei - many have tried to resolve this wonder, however, few have succeeded. Literally, communication begins with being good listeners...and both genders have variances of skilled listenings. Some long married partners have developed a ';settling'; way of communication. A way of realizing what it takes to ';get along'; in conversation...and yet have not truly succeeded in being 100% interpreted.


From body language, to verbage, to listening...men and women do differ...just as much if not more on how different cultures, tribes and environments communicate.


Some long termed couples say that it takes training. Guys take note, be good at memory...make a mistake...don't repeat it.


Much of our problems in communication lie in being able to listen, hear what the other person is saying...stop and think about what that person is saying...then apply an unselfish response. Don't form an opinion until you've digested the content fully from the other person.


Have patience. Don't try to be right, even if you are. Always try to see or be open to the other persons view point.


Men...the gender thing...women do speak with emotion, it's just a woman thing. Women...guys don't see outside the box too often. Our differences can actually become our strengths in great conversations...because both genders will have two view points to consider...and if they really want to bridge that communication gap...let's find a way to meet in the middle.
me and my close friend (girl) can understand each other really well.. we dont have problem talking to each other.. we are even honest with each other...
Of course we can communicate. Deep down we have many similar basic needs but the method of communication often gets in the way. Certain things you just have to put up with, but most of the time is more about (both of you) listening very hard and trying to get past all the clouding surface issues to end up understanding each other. Both parties need to understand that (in general) women like to resolve issues by talking them out more or less without input from the listener (i.e. verbalize their own thoughts and feelings) while men often are looking for (and suggesting) solutions to the problems they are presented with. Don't get hung up on the words and the way they are said, but keep listening for the basic points.





Keep this in mind and it helps a lot.
I think that the misunderstading begin to occur when a man and a woman become involved in a romantic relationship...





I think all that has to be done is understand the differences. Woman are more emotional than man... and man can be less... to some point, not in all the cases.. but there are books on this... such as Deborah Tahnnen... I think that's how you spell her name.. she has done a lot of research on this topic, which is very interesting.... you should check em out..
It takes work...bottom line. If you aren't up for the challenge - you'll be struggling more and more through relationship after relationship.





I agree. I have found that men focus more on what they ';think'; than what they ';feel';. Never ask a guy what he feels about something. Ask him what he thinks and he knows how to respond. He doesn't know how he feels about it. Ha ha. It's weird how that works.
I believe girls don't know how to communicate to eachother either, so I'm going to use my closest friend as an example. (close enough that we've been teased about being an old married couple years ago when we weren't as close as we are now) ... this sounds like rambling and it probably is- so go to the sources if you want the point.


We have been friends for about 7 years and it is a friendship I have never had before (unfortunatly we're both straight). And we are just discovering Honesty. It wasn't that we lied, or weren't open- but we are discovering the things we didn't tell. For the past 7 years we both thought that the other one was superiour and was trying to ';teach'; or ';fix'; the other. Thefore we didn't tell things that we didn't want to be fixed. Yet it was still a closer relationship than most people ever experience (to me knowledge)


Part of this Honesty (I'm capitalizing Honesty for a reason) allowed me to see how differently she sees the world. But the more honest each of us are with eachother the more we understand.


HUGE things that we don't communicate on:


she is very mormon and I am very spiritual


she is very feelings and I'm very mathematical


She is very family and I'm very er, I don't know what I am. (sounds lesser, but her whole life is based around having her own family, and mine doesn't even take it into account)


These differences aren't any less of barriers than those between a man and a woman. (huge actually!)

No comments:

Post a Comment