Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Do women have a problem with men who communicate openly?

I've known so many women who groan and grumble about how the men in their lives are poor communicators. They won't talk about how they feel, what they think, or what have you. They say they'd love to have a partner who doesn't like to leave issues unresolved. You know, I'm on board with that sentiment 100%. Here's my problem, though.





I'm not a weepy, clingy sort of guy by any stretch of the imagination, but I've believe that communication is key in a relationship. To that end, I communicate well. I am bluntly honest, and about as subtle as a kick in the balls, but I do know how to tactfully communicate. I just don't believe in bullsh*tting anyone, because it does nothing but cause confusion.





Since my divorce, I've dated a few women, and a couple of them and I have gotten pretty close, but I've had the worst luck with them in that I want to talk about things, and they...well...don't. It's like I have to drag out of them what they're thinking and how they're feeling about things, because when I'm with a woman, I want her to know that her thoughts and emotions are as important to me, if not more, than my own. I guess it's because I was such a poor communicator during my marriage, and I'm hell bent and glory bound to fix that in myself this time around.





I don't badger anyone, but I would always like my women friends to know that if we ever have any problems, that they can come to me with their concerns, and that I'll show them the same courtesy. That way, nothing is left in question, and we can move forward when problems arise.





But, after the last few ladies I've seen, I'm starting to wonder if women are just full of sh*t when they say they want a man who communicates, because it sure seems so. So, do women want a man to listen to and talk with them or do they not?Do women have a problem with men who communicate openly?
I can't speak for all women, but I sure want a man that openly communicates. Thankfully my boyfriend is like that. It's been a year and we haven't gotten into a single fight. My sister and her boyfriend of over two years get into fights all the time and a bunch of unnecessary drama. I don't do drama. I think most women do want a man that communicates well, but once they get one, they take him for granted. Given, sometimes we may not feel like talking about something at a certain time or until we are ready. Contrary to belief, women don't just pour out emotions. The same way men may need a little space when going through a rough time, we do too. There are many times when I tell my boyfriend I'm fine when I most certainly am not. He just lets me know that if I need him he is here for me, and there's nothing I can't tell him. Whenever I do that, I either need time to calm down about the situation or I'm just not ready to share.





Maybe the women you have dated weren't very serious about the relationship. Like I said, sometimes we just don't want to talk about every little thing that bugs us. Communication is one of the most important things in a successful relationship. I'm a very impatient person, but when it comes to my boyfriend I am incredibly patient with him. When we have a problem, we talk about it. We don't yell, blame each other, use foul language, etc. I mean, if you aren't willing to settle something maturely, then what are you wasting each others' time for? You seem to be on the right track. I applaud you for working on communication after realizing that's what lacked in your marriage. You need a girl that will appreciate you and won't take you for granted. Don't let women who don't care pry into your life. Most women would be glad to have a guy like you. Good luck.Do women have a problem with men who communicate openly?
Some have a problem with it. I dont, i like knowing me and my partner can talk about anything at all. It reassures that he loves me and genuinly cares about my thoughts etc. Alot of us woman are picky (they say they want this but when they get it they hate it). I agree with you; there should never be a question or doubt about the person you are with. You should be able to communicate freely about anything. To truley love someone you must be able to umderstand
yes, that the most common complain we have with men being poor listeners (most, not all) because most girls would love to have a good listener (fyi, if men prefer more sex, girls prefer being cherished by being listened too) most girls tend to talk indirectly, that's why we also talk indirectly mostly with men. sometimes we only want to be validated and not to be given pieces of advices. (example: ';oh i hate this weather'; instead of saying ';let's stay inside the house, its hot. you can tell her.. ';ah yes, its really hot.'; -- validation) most girls talk figuratively and we dont usually ask for any help if we need it because to most girls when we share problems we assist them at emotional level.





i sugges that you read ';men are from mars, women from venus'; by john gray, phD and you'll get there exactly what you're asking for. you can google it in PDF.





goodluck!

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