Firstly, I feel 'particle..' advise was great, I would like to add to it though.
Each person is different, so there is no set time, however there are more or less effective ways of dealing with the psychological trauma and this would obviously influence the healing period.
Understanding how the brain deals with trauma is very important in healing, so sorry, this is going t take a while, but it is so important to understand.
From what we understand, it seems that the context of our traumatic events are stored in the amygdala (corpus amygdaloideum), smells, sounds, feelings, and visuals. At the time of trauma, a snapshot of everything is send and stored in the amygdala. It's like a grainy, low-resolution picture of everything, the whole context. The purpose for this is that we (our mind and brain) appear to have no problem with creating pathological responses, if it means our survival. And the amygdala is the seat of pathological response.
Lets say then, that the daylight had a particular look to it, the day I experienced a major trauma, and some time later (weeks/months/years), I walked from inside into the same daylight, I would irrationally experience a loaded response (pathological) as my amygdala responded to what it perceived as 'imminent danger'- this of course would be based on the memory of the last trauma. (Note - We ourselves may of course not see the link and this then opens up another whole thing of psychotherapy.)
Now the response would be more or less dependent on the link between context and trauma. So, you where raped by a man, man is central and critical to you trauma. Amygdala is going to react pathologically (irrationally) in response to 'man' stimulus. If your attacker had a particular smell or feel, and a man walked past you with that same smell or feel, your response would be even greater - I'm sure you get the picture.
So now the huge question is what do I do with this information.
Ok, memory works like a hard drive on your computer. Write and save a word document, then call it up make changes and save and the whole document again. The original document is lost (overwritten). Our memory seems to work in the same way, we call a memory into RAM, modify it and then resave as a new memory, and old one is gone. So with traditional psychotherapy, you sit and chat with your therapist and talk about the rape, and over months, years the memory is gradually rewritten with the heavy irrational response gradually erased - There is a quicker and I believe more successful, conscious way.
Every time you experience an irrational response (to 'man'), quickly take note of the fact that nothing traumatic is happening, become very conscious, of the fact that you are safe and secure, even though your brain, mind and body are screaming insecure. Really become aware of the surroundings, colours, smells and the fact that you are safe and secure - Look around and confirm that you are safe and secure. Try to avoid the temptation to get angry or disappointed with your irrational response, your amygdala is doing exactly what it is supposed to do.
I can't express the importance of your full conscious participation in this. In the early days please try to avoid places where you will not feel safe and secure, gradually move out into life again as you build genuine confidence.
Every time you do this you are rewriting the memory with less and less trauma attached to 'man', therefore over time you should observe less pathology and more rationality.
Time = your level of conscious participation in rewriting the memory.
Thank you so much for sharing your trauma, you are so brave and special. My love to you and my blessings on your healing. If you have any questions, please feel free to email me - take care.How long should it take for a rape victim to be able to be around men w/o cringing?
I had some uncomfortable experiences as a child that no child should be forced to experience. After these events, I remember being terrified of men. I wasn't comfortable around any of them. I hated male teachers, I even remember dreading going to math tutoring because my tutor was a male. I would avoid all situations with men. You eventually overcome this fear. After so long, you will realize that not all men are bad. Just because one man went out of line and put you in a place you never deserved to be placed in, doesn't mean that you should fear walking out your front door everyday. Thinks will get better, keep your head up. :)
There's nothing really wrong with the reaction, those are very traumatic experiences, and it can take quite a while, even be a lifetime process. The best thing to do is just coach yourself mentally to prepare for situation, and basically support yourself as you go through things. Sometimes talking with people you're close to lets you get some fear out and rationalize it, but it's usually a long process. I knew someone that went through that and just being there and talking helped, which is hard because it's hard bringing back the memories. Just focus on the good things, and the positive things and slowly help yourself trust the environment around you.
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