How can I stop putting MEN before myself?

When it comes to dating and men, I have a hard time doing what is in my best interest. For example, I'll meet a guy and he will propose that we do something that clearly inconveniences me or is set around his best interest and instead of me being assertive and declining, I'll go back %26amp; forth with myself about whether I should or shouldn't and then I usually 'give-in' to whatever it is that he wants to do or have done. This could be sex, it could be me doing favors like picking him up from work, etc. I am trying so hard to put my foot down, but I secretly fear that I won't be liked or that guys will think I am selfish, bossy or a ******. I am 25 by the way and have been this way since I was 15. How can I communicate effectively to men that I like compromise without sounding swish-swoshy or bossy?How can I stop putting MEN before myself?
I agree with a lot of the other posters that this is something within yourself and your own self esteem. You seem to be determining your self worth by what others think of you instead of what you think of you.





You have it within YOUR power to determine what you want to do with your self and time. If you make someone else angry because they are not understanding that you cannot give something at a particular time, that is on THEM, not you. Don't do things if they will inconvenience you past a certain extent. Be honest with yourself and with others. This gets rid of those guilty feelings. You are not being bossy, you are being assertive in letting others know what you will or will not tolerate. If they want to think you are a b*tch, let them. You know you are not one! If they don't like you for it, ultimately they are not worth your time or effort. There are plenty of men out there. You do not need to compromise your sense of self just to please someone else and shouldn't let anyone coerce you into believing otherwise.





That is NOT to say that you shouldn't make compromises. Life is full of compromises and we all make them. We just need to learn the difference between compromising who we are as a person, or compromising on doing different things.





Good luck and hope this helps!How can I stop putting MEN before myself?
I used to the be the same way before I got married and was dating guys. You need to have confidence in yourself to know that you are worthy. If they don't want to talk to you because you can't drop what you're doing to cater to their needs, then you don't need to be with them. There are plenty of men in this world (believe it or not), so what one man won't do the next one well. Believe that.
You will never be happy or in a healthy relationship until you value yourself as much as you value a man. There is a difference between that and being selfish. A relationship is a 2 way street where comprise is a must! Just start doing it. It may be uncomfortable at first, but it will get easier. If the guy can not handle it, find another one b/c that guy is the selfish one then.
if someone thinks your being selfish, bossy or a ***** b/c you're putting yourself first, then you really don't need them @ all.


if you already have plans to do something else, say so. if you don't want to have sex, say so ... eventually, you'll find the perfect person who will accept you for who you are.


=)
You need to work on your self esteem and also figure out why you NEED these men. They aren't mind readers. Also it isn't attractive to be like that, men catch on. Stop dating until you can work on your self worth and esteem.
You dont do what he asks next time or suggest a compromise. Then hide your phone and dont give in. If he's going to be a jerk then you can do better. No-one's going to respect you until you earn it and respect yourself.
You sound insecure. Just start standing up for yourself. Men are attracted to strong, confident women. If something is not convenient for you, tell them. They should be working hard to get YOUR attention, not the other way around.
Just say it! In listening to you, you sound a lot like I use to be. You have to first love yourself and understand that you are valuable and important.
You sound like my best friend except you don't have kids. Yeah o.k. get yourself together meaning work on ironing your personality out and being confident in yourself. Then seek out men.
Please don't change! Just find a guy who deserves the wonderful you!!! If more American women witches were like you, there would be no divorce.
just do it why cant you see you are pretty and deserve better.
just, DON'T?-
You just need to come into your own and have some more self worth. You can do this you just have to be strong and stand up for yourself. For example if one of them ask something like can you pick me up from work you would say i would really love to but no i cant because i already had plans and i cant break them. Or if they say something like i want to have sex but you aren't ready to do it with them yet then you say something like i am not ready to do this but when i am i will let you know. You need to stand your ground and be strong. I know that you can do it. Good luck.