In regards to our relationship, we maybe have an argument once a month, but he never brings up that he is unhappy in the relationship until I do...We can go on just fine, and then when I display that there is something I'm not happy about, he's like ';well I'm not very happy about THAT either'; like there is a score to settle, instead of just l-i-s-t-e-n-i-n-g and talking, he gets defensive.
I know you have to communicate with men differently than women, but what I want to know is...
How do I tell my boyfriend to communicate and listen better, and to not have so much pride that we can't settle a fight??How do you keep a guy happy?
Most women communicate feelings verbally, it's very normal. It's also normal that men do not communicate best this way. When they want to talk it's important and they want you to listen. It might help to get a book, Barns and Nobel has a good selection. Read up on ways to more effective communication and relationships. He probably gets defensive because he feels attacked, and your not trying to give that impression. What we say and how people understand it or to different things.How do you keep a guy happy?
Both of you should read the book Men Are from Mars Women Are From Venus. You're both different, you're both complicated, that includes men despite what society tells you. You will both have a much better understanding and appreciation of each other, trust me.
just tell him exactly what u said here (but in a more sensitive way)
speak ur mind without being too rough on him.
let him know that its bothering you that hes acting that way a relationship is all on communication sounds like SOMEBODYY (him) needs to realize that. andd maybe you can tone down expressing your emotions a litte
hope this helpzz
peace:)
tell him first of all if he really loved you that he would let you talk and he would listen. then second if you loved him you would be saying shut the hell up it is my turn to talk. and for the laid part don't do that it is only making it worst trust me i done that before!
just have sex with him 3-7 times a week and then you can ***** all you want to him
well i hate to say this....BJ's always help!
Tell him everything you just told us
i think you should read book i think it is name Adam and Eve, and then you will understand men. good luck
just give him head
promblem solved
do the dishes
a head a day should do it
OMG honey read ''men are from mars women are from venus''.. it tell you all these things abut ur man..%26amp; wy hes like that.. ma EX is exactly the same a ur man.. read that book it helps.xxx
ok all these answers arent serious..
but im really sorry about wat you're going through.. except i rlly dont know wat to say..
if you keep trying to make him happy but he doesnt appreciate it.. is he right for you??
Trust and communication is very important to not only keep a man happy but a woman too. My relationship is based on trust, communicaton and then love. You cant love someone you cant talk to or trust. Dont fight, talk things out.
Are either of you happy with each other, or happy in this relationship? DO you love each other, how much? Do you trust him, does he trust you?
He dosnt seem to care about your feelings and when your upset he makes your feelings unimportant. When hes upset you run and hold him and try to make him feel better? Why? What are you afraid of will happen if you dont hold him and make him feel better? He has no respect for your feelings and your busting yours all over his. Stop babying him, hes a grown man, if he gets upset, he will be ok, dont coddle him, and if you feel the way you feel tell him dont be afraid of letting him know its not always about him, this is what he thinks and the more you baby him the more all about him its going to be. WHy are you so scared of hurting his feelings when he has respect for yours at all. I bet he wouldnt hesitate to say that to you even tho it would hurt your feelings he wouldnt care at all. To him his feelings are the only ones he cares about, the only feelings he can feel, and dosnt sound like hes wanting to feel how you feel.. that came out a bit complicated but in short he has no respect for you or your feelings if he did he would be right by your side the minute you were having a bad day or venting or needed to talk and express yourself, hes not. If talking dosnt help or do any good then Im not sure anything will. Good Luck.. and sorry if i sounded harsh or mean ..
i get mad at the same thing with my girlfriend when she doesnt talk to me about her problems and she is all bummed out and stuff and it makes me really really mad sometimes i want to help her but she always just says dont worry about me and i get so mad when she says that, but theirs nothing really that you can do about that, ive tryied doing that with me girlfriend but it always leads to any arguemnet or something, so the best thing that yo can do is jsut tell him that you are their for him and that you love him, i know it makes ya mad sometimes i know it does in my relationship but its really the only thing that you can do
Straight up tell him.
Something like this: Hey, when I tell you things or vent to you, when I bring up something that seems to be a problem in the relationship, just communicate with me and listen. Don't get so defensive, I'm not trying to point fingers. I point out our problems and when I'm not happy to let you know and for me AND you to get out of the problem together, not for you to get defensive over it. When I vent to you, it would be nice if you just hug me and tell me things will be fine, sometimes, I feel like you don't care about me or something when I vent to you. And I'm not trying to point fingers at you right now, I'm just saying this right now so we can talk about this and resolve it. I don't want to argue.
That can be a guideline for you. I hope it helps and good luck!
Talk to him.
Obviously, he's a guy and some guy's take longer to know what's really going on. You shouldn't be scared to tell your boyfriend how your feeling. It could change things, or it could make things a little different.
He can listen, or ignore you. If your boyfriend chooses to ignore the fact that your arn't happy with something then obviously your relationship is pointless. Basically he's trying to say ';whatever'; That's a big F**k you in my opinion. Honestly hun, stay true to who you are.
honestly, real men don't ';talk';. some men think if they talk, it open ';pandora's box';. they're smart, they like to keep quite. his actions are showing u compassion (cuddling like a baby). i think this is good. i'd rather be with a guy that shows compassion, rather than talk to me and tell me about his feelings, b/c that shows an act of maturity. (and that he's not a ';player';) in my opinion, bitches talk, talk about they're emotions. i say there's nothing wrong, leave him alone and eventually he'll come around and talk to. that's not being complex, that's being simplistic.
* i know b/c most of my freinds are guys, and i've a an EX jus like ur BF.
In all honesty, I had an ex gf who was exactly like you. She expected me to say everything that was on my mind.... expected me to communicate my thoughts and emotions... and it really never stopped. It kept going and going and going. What more can I talk about when the only thing I was actually thinking about was just simple things. Simple things like... ';That's a nice shirt and it looks nice on you'; ';It's such a beautiful day'; ';Mmmm the food taste good. I wonder what they put in here. It's just damn good';..... and we (at least I) don't think about anything else. I like to keep things simple and do what I'm doing.
Not entirely your fault, really. Your problem is you expect your bf to change and be like you.... to be communicative... expressive... emotional... so you can hug your cuddly wuddly teddy bear in your arms.
Perhaps, your bf doesn't want to be that way. He may just wish you would accept him for who he is... even if you dislike certain things about him and his personality.
The point is.... no one is perfect. You have this ideal fantasy in your head... thinking you can mold your bf's behavior, his appearance, the way he thinks into someone you want him to be. That's the culprit, that I think, women never truly understand. You will eventually have to learn to accept his differences and then move on.
The only person who is unsatisfied in a relationship is actually you and not him. But you are desperately clinging onto the fact that if your bf changes, he'll make you happy. How much further are you willing to go? As you grow, your mind constantly changes... you think of different things... you get tired of the same things everyday.... and as you crave constant change... you'll feel you're not satisfied enough.
And all because of what!? N..O..T...... Y...O...U...R......B.F....Just you. Knowing what you want.. and truly knowing you want it forever is the key to a satisfying relationship. Love yourself and everyone else as they are. That should be your first step. If you really can't understand this... then you are putting a lot of emotional baggage on your bf's shoulders. Not very fun, indeed.
It's EXHAUSTING.
I was the same way for my entire life. It was passed down for generations on my fathers side, and then I went into the military and it became even worse due to the enviroment I was in and the war I helped fight.
Only one thing changed that and it was when the love of my life walked out the door. I believe that was the only thing that could have changed it. I dont know how old either of you two are, but I was 25 when she left and am now 28 and back together with her. This was only possible because I stopped being a boy and became a man. She gave me more chances to change while we were together the first time than I can even count and nothing got through to me.
Tell him he needs to make peace with his father, because it sounds IDENTICAL to how I was and that was my problem to begin with.
A man will NEVER trivialize your feelings, so tell him to man up or get out.
Do I understand or even agree with what she is talking about 75% of the time. No I dont, but it doesnt matter if I understand it, all that matters is that I understand that they are HER feelings and not mine If she wants to tell me something I stop what I am doing to listen to what she has to tell me. I dont just HEAR what she has to say, I l-i-s-t-e-n(just like you said)
No matter how silly it may seem in my head, in her head it is not silly and thats all that matters to me and her. If she wants advice I will give it to her, but 99% of the time she does not want advice, she just wants me to listen to what is going on in her head and I am more than happy to do so.
I won the lotto with my angel, I thank god for it everyday of my life that she was sent to me and changed my life forever by showing me that even though I thought I was a Military billy badass I was nothing more than a full grown boy, and I make sure she knows that I know how lucky I think I am just by listening and being her Man and not her child.
The BJ comments are ridiculous, sex does not make a relationship. Would they help him be happy of course it will, he would be getting BJ's what guy would not be happy with that, but its a band-aid to a problem that has nothing to do with sex or even to do with you. Ask yourself this question, you give more and more and more sex, but does this change the problem of him not listening to you? No it does not. Its not him that is unhappy it is YOU that is unhappy so the BJ's will serve no purpose other than to reward bad behavior and change nothing. My baby tried every thing she could think of sexually to change my behavior. It may actually make your problems worse because it will not help. It may also make him lose respect for you because he KNOWS that you are unhappy and he still gets what he wants.
Five words women need to say to their men to know if they trulely love them or if they are just trying to find happiness within them.
Man up or get out!
wow, for the two people that both posted about bj's and sex, why even bother responding with an answer like that? freakin scandalous. aaaaaanyways,
I'm not pro, but I've found that you just hafta be straight forward. they're not listening, be like ';honestly, you're terrible at listening. when crap is going down with you, I'm nothing but loving and all I do is care about how you feel. but it's like you're the complete opposite and I don't think I deserve that.'; -- with guys, they're not gonna guess how you feel. they ARE simple in that way. it's almost like you always hafta spell it out or else they won't get it. so just let him know exactly what your thoughts are on the matter. if he doesn't listen, then trust me when I say that he wasn't worth it to begin with. because there ARE caring guys out there. I can promise you that. I've been with a few. =]
and as for the ';be sexual to keep him happy';, if he's not giving you what YOU want and need .. why should you?
=] good lucky girlie!
If you really want to communicate with a man / Let him watch the TV in peace, with the Remote control in his hand.
Bring him some snack food and a drink.
Smile at him, and pat him on the head
and tell him he's the greatest.
The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
From that point on, He will do anything that you want
(just don't talk too much, or ask too many questions.)
He wants a girlfriend, / not to be on a quiz show.
daily BJs always keeps a man happy.
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