I regret a decision that I made.?

After careful thought and self examination... I let a great guy get away. He was in the process of a divorce which complicated the situation. He had a very demanding job, a 16 year old daughter to think about, and so many other complicated things that he did not share with me. He lied about different matters surrounding his divorce but I now realize that he lied to keep me in the picture - he didn't want to see me disappointed. I can see now that he wouldn't spend the night with me because he had children to think about and wanted to set a good example for them. I felt like the pit stop girl and it hurt alot...just getting a piece but never really getting the full man. I understand now that men communicate love, affection, and acceptance through sex and by making sexual comments about me to his family - it was a compliment to me in ';guy speak'; I could not longer live with the left overs he was offering... I was attached and wanted to progress to a deeper level of commitment but his divorce wasn't even finished yet. So I told him that I could no longer see him till his divorce was finished. It hurt me terribly to do this but I could no longer pretend that I didn't need the intimacy shared with overnight stays. I left the relationship - he got angry, said that I hurt him and he could no longer trust me. He needed the closeness that we had and I stripped it away as a form of punishment for something he was working on getting done. He went out found someone else and got engaged within 2 months ....I dated him a year and never got commitment. I miss him everyday... How do I let go of the terrible mistake that I made?I regret a decision that I made.?
Girl, please you didn't do a THING wrong! He got engaged within 2 months and who says that was the right thing? Sounds like he is a re-bounder who falls in love quickly - you are looking at things in retrospect with regret when you need to be looking FORWARD with hope and knowledge that you loved yourself too much to be with a man who was still married. I know that was hard, but you made it through. Don't regret that. That is very honorable and God saw it. He will see you through this. Forget about him. Look forward. Don't look back. You did the right thing. (He was a liar and that is the worst personality to have to try to navigate around with in your life.)I regret a decision that I made.?
You need to keep yourself busy until you get over him. He is not the great catch that you think that he is. He lied to you and blamed it on you. You were honest with him and he says he cannot trust you. What a screwed up way for him to think. You are better off without him. Not staying with you because of his 16 year old daughter is an excuse.
everything happens for a reason, don't question it, it just wasn't going to be right for u. if he loved u like u did him he would have respected u and gotten his divorce,and married u, he's the type of guy that will leave u in a heartbeat if everything doesn't go his way.
read back sweats!! you answered yourself. you had a great guy that you let get away?! then you can't stop mentioning the so many lies? been there. i wish i wouldve left my divorced ex. we got together before he said he was getting divorced to the woman that was his girlfriend but really the wife?!


now im a single mom.
No no no...he did treat you like a pit stop and wants to make you feel guilty. If he was so great he wouldn't have lied to you
Stop sleeping with men that AREN'T available! I doubt that he is in love with the ';new'; girl..he just wanted company.
move on. he has kids totake care of, they're already hurt, dont make it worse for them. there are more fish in the sea..
been there done that got the t-shirt. It hurt it was stupid. I won't do that again.
Well dear, we are all imperfect beings and bound to make mistakes.


There is no way we can look back and undo anything.


However, we can choose to put the past aside and start afresh.


We can choose to learn from the mistakes and move on in life.


We can choose to be wiser and better, not whining and bitter.


Time is a great healing balm.


This man is not sincere in the very 1st place.


Is he worth agonising for?


Get busy with nice hobbies, activities...even volunteer work


to see the needs of others.Talk to a close trusted counsellor, friend or relative.Visit a good church.


I understand what you are going through is hurtful but


press forward and remember, this will all come to pass.


The pain will go away in time to come.:)
I am honestly sorry. I went thru the same kinda thing in a way. It dose suck to know you were used. I learned from mine i hate that i let it happen. I am married now i still regreat getting myself in a situation with a man i liked a lot he broke my heart and I know he felt nothing for me. I do still have feelings I KNOW he don't feel the same. I loved him but, it was totally clear he did not feel the same about me. That happend when i was 18 i'm 30 now i still have guilt about that one guy! guess i never got over that one.
well if he couldn't see that you needed more from him you might have just been a pit stop girl and you telling him to hit the road made him mad and now hes being petty by giving the new pit stop girl what you needed to know it was real. so don't worry to much about it. don't build a dream so you can beat your self with it. he hid stuff he jumped ship and took the leaky life boat. hes not worth missing it was a lesson the sad part is it took you a year.
honey that wasnt a mistake- that was a blessing because all of how you felt was correct and what you did was right to separate until he closed that chapter in his life...and if he was engaged 2 months later what does that say about how he truly felt about you....there is no way that he wasnt dating this girl already...i really find it hard to believe....and if anything i see him just being mad about you calling it off but if he really loved you ....he would have knocked down doors to come and get you back.....girl not to be insensitive but men are a mess...count your blessings and say your prayers cause it could have been worse....





now you can move on and start prayering God sends you your true man
Timing is everything in matters of the heart. It just wasn't the right time for the two of you. I know divorces can take a long time to conclude but it sounds like he was still living with his wife. If that's the case, he shouldn't have started a sexual relationship with you because he wasn't able to give you what YOU needed. And you are just as important as he is. I think you made the right decision and when I read that he got engaged within 2 months, I knew you made the right decision. You dated him for a year and in that time he couldn't give you what you needed, although you wrere supposed to give him what he needed. Sounds like a selfish guy.


Be thankful it ended. I can only imagine what he's putting the new girl through.
It depends what mistake you are referring to. If you mean the mistake of wasting all that time on a man who obviously was not thinking you were the one...then you're right. You made a mistake but you were strong enough to finally have the self respect to say no more. If you think that you're mistake was in not waiting long enough...you are fooling yourself honey. Not only does it sound like he just wasn't that into you, but it sounds like he used your decision as an excuse to keep you away without having to be the bad guy. He found someone else and in TWO months was engaged. There were no issues there for him and her. You loved him and you miss him. It's a horrible feeling. But someone out there is waiting to meet you and he will adore you. Go find him. Also if you get a chance read a book - ';He's just not that into you';...it will really help you put this in some perspective.
Are you sure you regret this or do you regret being alone. Its a big difference. It hurts when you put that much into a relationship and when it ends and the other person begins a commited relationship so quickly. There are a couple things you should think about, like the fact that he has to always be in a relationship (still married, dating you and now engaged???), so he depends on women a lot, not a great thing in the long run. Also he lied, you caught him in so many of them, don't waste your time trying to verify everything, it'll only hurt you more, the more lies you uncover. Because you don't always hear all of it for a long time.


My advise is to spend some quality time on yourself. Seems you've spent all your time on this man for quite some time, treat yourself, it will make you feel better. Then you might start to see what a favor this guy did for you in the long run, even if it doesn't feel that way now. Go try new things, things that you would enjoy, concerts, the theater, whatever you want. Just remember to think about you, not whats happened, think about yourself.
Wake up and smell the coffee honey! This man is a total douchebag! I can't believe how many things he did, that you should be saying, ';Good riddance!'; to him and instead you honestly think you missed out on something good. I guess next time you will have to stay stuck with a man who mistrusts and go through many more years of pain before you realize that these types of men are not going to provide with what you are looking for.
no the guy is married you didn't make a mistake and you caught him in lies believe what you want if you think he lied to you to protect you. Same old story different day with yet another married man!


If he cared about you he should have respected that you wished to not be with him until after the divorce. Him not doing that is a red flag. Once a cheater always a cheater remember that. Karma always gets you in the end.